Wadud on Theory vs. Practice

In my own religious experience, although I believe that observing certain commandments, such as keeping Shabbat, is beneficial and worthwhile,  and would help me get in touch with my spirituality, I neglect to do so due to laziness and conveniency. This is an example of my belief and respect for a theory, but my lacking of action in relation to the theory rather negates my respect for the theory itself; I can say I believe in it as much as I want, but if I do not engage fully in practice of it, I am being outrightly disrespectful to myself and my religion. I do not condemn myself because of this, however I feel like a “fake.” I am trying to forgive myself and exist as I do, but my inclinations toward a better version of myself are halted when I dismiss the full practice of some kind of religious work. The very fact that I recognize its validity may either be defined as a “good first step,” but even this definition can be seen as disrespectful – who am I to determine the validity of a religious law or practice? Why should I be able to choose what I think is “good for me?”

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